Musings directly from my muse

Hot Cross Bunnies!

Is that your Google, or are you just happy to see me?

It's been a little bit of time since I wrote about weird searches that help you find my blog.   Apparently, my blog is a hotbed of sexual activity, considering the Google searches that lead you here.

So, by popular referral, here are a few more ways to find my blog:

Lesbian foreplay

I'm not sure how lesbians have foreplay, but apparently they do it Doggypile style.   I make one blog about lesbians, and now I'm an expert at everything lesbian.    Here's a tip...it's probably a lot like hot man on woman action except the other one is a woman...with a strap on.   Giggity-giggity!

Lesbians first love short stories

...but then they find their second loves: boy's pants, flannel, and flat tops.

My big pecker

Dude, if you have to surf the 'Net to find your big pecker, it's not all that big.   I'd check your pants first.   If that doesn't work, send out a search party.

 

wrinkled penises

Imagine Joan Rivers without any plastic surgery or a shaved Shar Pei puppy Super-glued to a couple of furry bowling balls and there you have it.     Who needs the Internet when you have the magic of imagination?

"do me fast baby"

Oh, you know it.   I have sex like a hamster -- fast and in shredded newspaper.   I roll like that.

 

forbidden love poem

Because I care about you, I took 2 minutes and made this up.   I hope you like it.

A Forbidden Love Poem

You led me down the garden walk

And deeper into the woods

I had bought you lots of booze

Hoping you'd show me your goods

And when we got into the shadows

And stole some kisses hidden

I'd continue with what happened next

But it is strictly forbidden.

 

pictures of my girlfriend having sex

You want 'em.   I've got 'em.   Let's talk price.

 

Posted by: Windhazel at 20:05 | link | comments (5) |
pointless

When funny goes wrong...

A scene from a recent conversation with my significant other (SO)

Me:  You know that old joke about clitorises and golf balls?  (Side note:  Is it clitorises?  clitorii?  Heck, it's all "down there to me!")

SO:  What joke?

Me:  You know, "What's the difference between a clitoris and a golf ball?   A guy will spend an hour looking for a golf ball."

SO:  Oh, yeah...what about it?

Me:   Perhaps if there was a one stroke penalty for not finding the clitoris, men would look harder for it.   (Insert me cracking myself up here).

SO:  Well, if men DON'T look for the clitoris, there may be a SEVERAL "stroke" penalty for not finding it.

Me: (not laughing anymore)   Oh...yeah.  I guess you're right.  

Me:  Ummmm...how about them White Sox?

Reminder to self:  think your jokes all the way through before you tell them.  Yikes! 

Posted by: Windhazel at 14:34 | link | comments (2) |
pointless

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